Monday, May 2, 2016

"Well That's Why the Divorce Rate is So High"

I'm known to frequent the Facebook page Humans of New York. I'm sure many of you also read their posts, and if you've never heard of it go check it out now! I recently read a post about a young man who who was uncertain about his future, particularly in terms of his relationship and getting married. He was scared that once vows were exchanged, something about his good relationship would be ruined or tarnished. It was a truly insightful post, one of many on the photography/story page that I love. A reader commented on the post saying "Stop worrying about the future, live in the here and now. Another day is not promised to any of us." Someone replied saying "Unfortunately, I think that is why the divorce rate is so high. We make spontaneous decisions rather than logical ones."

Although I believe that both commenters are coming from good places, I have to say that the second comment struck me in a really sour way. I've always been one to say that I only want to be married once and I never want to be divorced, so I am guilty of vilifying divorce as much as anyone else, but I think maybe I've been getting it wrong. As much as I would absolutely love to be in one of those long-lasting marriages where we grow old together, the second comment really made me reconsider my views on marriage and divorce.

The first comment captured the essence if not the meaning of life in such a simple yet beautiful way. "Another day is not promised to any of us." It baffles me that someone could then reply with something as statistical as the divorce rate to that. Yes: people get divorced. It is a fact of life. If we sit around, worrying about divorce and the anguish and anger that comes with that though, we will never progress in many ways. The human experience is meant to provide emotions both positive and negative to individuals making this journey through life. No one wants to get divorced, but at the same time no one ever wants to feel sad, no one ever wants to not be happy. Yet, these emotions bubble up sometimes.

If something feels good and makes us happy in the moment, why not go for it? We can never predict where life will take us. Many spontaneous relationships go the distance and many relationships that were thought out for years and planned, relationships full of logically made decisions fail after only a few years. There are many factors to successful relationships but there is no one golden key to succeeding. I believe that a huge factor of leading a fulfilling life is doing what makes you happy. What will the divorce rate matter once we are all gone and part of the earth once again? For all we know, this is the one and only time we will ever get to live life, so live one full of happiness, free of stress, and with lots of love.

If something makes you smile or laugh or jump with glee: go with it. We do not have time to ponder statistics and wonder if what we are doing in love is logical. Love others, love life, and love fully.

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