Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Looking Forward

Lately that I have been trying to rush through my life. I am one of the biggest advocates of stopping to smell the roses and taking life as it is day by day, but I just haven't been able to stop myself lately. Even though I am taking the fewest amount of credits this quarter since I started college, (and probably the fewest amount of classes my entire life) I feel busier than ever. Between general education classes, voice lessons, sorority obligations, a social life, preparing for my Summer study abroad in Italy, and preparing to transfer colleges in the Fall, I am simply overwhelmed.

During my first two quarters at Oregon, I didn't know if I was going to be able to transfer. I was applying to four highly competitive schools as a transfer student and as a theatre major. These factors combined, I had no idea what my chances in getting into another university was. Despite my anxiety about my unknown future, I was able to relax into the University of Oregon and live life here. I made what I could of it even though I knew that I desperately wanted out as soon as I could. Now that I know I'm going to be able to make that change, I simply want to get there. Since my time at Oregon is limited, I know that I can't do much with my time left. I can enjoy what I have left at this school but joining organizations, registering for classes, making new friends, and quite simply growing as a student and as a human being become difficult if not impossible.

I am so busy with making plans for my life six months in advance. I know what I want to do once I get to Chapman University and I am vying to do it all right now. I'm anxious to discover a new school, meet new people, declare my double major (And maybe minor! Am I crazy enough?), and further explore the Southern California area that I know so well. I want to be tanning under palm trees on a freshly cut lawn in the California heat as I work on a project or my homework. I see myself amongst Greek Life members, understanding and participating in their philanthropies and events. The beach awaits my return and Disneyland, only minutes away, will hopefully be a place I can find refuge in. I want to meet my roommate and decorate my new (and improved) dorm room instead of being cramped into a house with sixty other girls. My time at Oregon has been nice, but it is time for me to move on.

Because of my overactive imagination and anxiety for the future, I have been unable to slow down and simply enjoy the life that is around me. I know that this is important for my mental health and for the sanity of those around me. Having a friend go crazy would probably not be good for anyone around me. And then I know there are things that I will miss at Oregon. The familiarity of the campus that I have come to know in the past academic year and the teachers that I got to work with over the terms. The calmness and darkness of the nature in Oregon at night. The warm Spring days where everyone is out on the lawn and the flowers seem to bloom brighter than the rainy days. My adventures with Clarae and the laughs I have with her and Brandon. My heart will ache for the friends I have made and the beautiful campus.

I hope I will find these things in Orange at Chapman. I hope the route I am choosing to take will lead me to where I want to be. I hope that I will be able to visit Oregon and that I will be able to stay in touch with those that I love. In spite of my excitement for the future, I need to remember to enjoy what is currently around me. I can't make Chapman come any faster and I won't be able to turn back time if I miss anything once I get there. We all need to learn to appreciate our lives in the moment. I know I can take time out of my day to step back and reflect on what is going on instead of simply sprinting to get the day over with. Life presents us with so many gifts each day, and we should appreciate each one.

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